Comment from Brian
Time: February 22, 2008, 3:55 pm

I have a good relationship w/ my 10 yr olds mother, and get her 3 weekends a month and about 4-5 weeks during the yr(vacations etc.). I’m in California and was wondering what amount of custody I could expect if I were to go to court and ask for more time, like 50/50? Also I am only paying 179 a month(the lowest) but were the court to look at my current income it might go up. I guess I’m wondering if it would be worth the trouble. I’d rather not pay more unless I get more custody.

Comment from Chuck
Time: April 2, 2008, 4:01 am

Hey i just have a quick question maybe you have come into a few people with this story. Me and my ex have joint custody. I got a job offer in Arizona. It’s an awsome offer and not to mention my whole family lives in that city. Well i want to take my son with me. He wants to go he’s 10 and it’s more like i have him most of the time anyways. He sleeps at my house almost every night. We are very close i couldn’t leave without him. And his mom is not going to let him go. Do i stand a chance in getting him. There’s also a few other circumstances that are in my benifit she has never taken him to the dr. Me or my new wife have. She’s always late taking him to school. (when she actually does, he hates to have her take him because of that) She has horses and he has really bad hay fever allergies which in turn causes him to have asthma attacks. I could go on and on. So what do u think so far?

Chuck

Comment from papa
Time: April 2, 2008, 9:19 am

Chuck, where do you and your son and ex currently live? How far is it from the location in Arizona? What is the current custody arrangement specifically? Do you think that the move is in your child’s best interest or your best interest?

These are some questions. You didn’t provide much information. Generally speaking, on a personal level, my gut reaction to plans to move a child away from either parent is a bad feeling. Anyway…… these types of moves need a Judge’s approval, and, it has to be shown that this is in the best interest of the child etc. etc.

Comment from papa
Time: April 2, 2008, 9:21 am

@ Brian… well, that’s just the chance you have to take. The court will likely review your latest income and increase your child support if your income has changed since the last time child support was calculated.

Comment from eric chinsami
Time: April 9, 2008, 10:38 pm

well my ex wants to move out of the state and take our 21month old son with her. she doesnt work or have anything goin on for her. on the other hand i have my own apartment, i hav a reliable vehicle and i hav a great job. will this look good for me in court

Comment from papa
Time: April 9, 2008, 11:59 pm

Eric, I am assuming that you have a court order in place and you have at least joint legal custody. Yes? If so, your ex will need a Judge’s approval in order to move out of state. In order to get that, she’ll have to demonstrate that the move is in the child’s best interest and provide a plan where you, the dad, keep continuity with your child.

That you have an apartment and good job and so forth will look good for you. You want to look like a good, responsible guy; and, those things are what responsible guys have.

This is a good forum that can help you. And, you can get questions answered by a legal expert for a small fee.

Comment from Kenny
Time: May 1, 2008, 2:43 pm

I am 21 years old, my son’s mother is 26. She asked to leave the state before he was one. She had no family here and he mother, father and a best friend said it would be easier for her to live there. Her father could financely help her there, her friend said she could live with her no rent and would not charge utilities. Father is not helping her and she moved out from her friends house. The baby has been sick twice, everytime she calls she just fights, hangs up or talks about what she is doing. I just want to know about my son. Now she is tellling me she wants me to give up my custody. We have a court order, when I go to Texas monitored visit, California joint custody. I have a new job and will now be able to get medical, I go to school full time and have expense. I have been giving her $50.00 at least once a month now may be more. I went to visit end of Dec. stayed with her friend cost me 550.00 just for round trip ticket, stayed again end of Jan., son’s birthday, stayed with her friend ticket cost about 210.00. Now I cannot stay with her friend, I cannot rent a car I am under 25, and I have no credit to rent a hotel. I don’t make alot of money, already give one attorney money at 2,000.00 did not for me. I did have a problem with depression when see started seeing me when I was 17. I went to and got help and still see him. He wrote a letter on my behalf because she bought it up. I would never hurt my son, I just want to be a father to him even if I have to have monitored visit I don’t care but she is always harassing me. But parent want to be grand parents but she only lets them see the baby if she is not made at me. I don’t have alot of money, please i truly need help. It is my resonsiblity not my parents, even through they would help as much as they can. I live in California and I hope I made sense I am very upset because it was this morning she told me to give up my rights.

Comment from Jeremy
Time: May 13, 2008, 8:04 pm

Hi Chuck, I live in Southern California, the mother of my 2 girls ages 2 and 4 years old, up and left 90 days ago to live with her mother in Northern California, whether I liked it or not. I continued to support her and the girls and continually tried to convince her to return. She refused to return and got a job after 2.5 months and she put 1 daughter in a state pre-school and an the other daughter in a regional program. She did not have medical insurance coverage up their, no drivers license, refused to take the anti-depressents that she was prescribed 2 years prior, excessive parting and money mismanagement. The children were constantly sick since they arrived, with high fevers and ear aches. I was tired of hearing noises of company at the mothers house and getting hung up on. so I went on a surprise visit to see our children and found that the house was a mess, the water they use for everything from a well had sand in it, there was no fuel in the tank they use for heat, they burn wood in a dutch oven for heat but for a week they were out, they have a sick dog that lives in the house, and in the first few months they were sleeping on 1 bed in 1 room. I was not happy at all with the school and my daughter was in and has missed an excessive amount of pre-school. When I returned home I brought my 4 year old back for a 17 day visit. After 7 days she began to threaten me about never seeing my kids again if I did not return our daughter early. So I filed ex-parte notice with my attorney and got emergengcy temporary custody of my oldest daughter and an order to shorten time fror trial. We had our first court date and requested a 730 physcological evaluation,Then got 6 weeks each temporay custody of our children until the evaluation is completed and then we will return to trial. She offered a 60/40 deal which I refused, giving her primary custody. Our major issue is the 750 mile distance apart. There are better schools and medical services where I live, which they were alraedy involved in before she bailed. I am extremly worried about the outcome, I want the kids to go to school where I live. My main worries are they that their age 2 and 4years old and that they are girls. Any suggestions to help improve my case and any predictions of outcome of custody? I have always been the stable providing parent, with a home, etc… She was the caretaker and now is working and the children are at a babysitter during the day. Help!

Comment from John
Time: May 14, 2008, 2:35 pm

When in court I was told by the judge for my attorney and I to read the agreement that had been drawn up from ex-wife side. During this my attorney advised me to sign this agreement because if I did not agree to this I have a high chance of my visitation with my 4 year old son to be reduced. The agreement stated that the mother would return to California(San Diego)With my child to be close to her family members (mother). My son was born in the state of Ca. and moved to Ma. at 9 months old. During this court date my son had been 3yrs & 11 months old. I was told by the judge that my son was not a resident of Ma. and no matter what I have to say his decision before signing the agreement will be for the mother to return to the State of Ca.
Since signing this agreement, the mother has full legal custody, she did not move to Ca. but left without a warning one month after court to Oklahoma where she remarried her first husband (before me) after the 90 days after divorce to now recently moving to Tennessee. Many more issues with this. Major issue, I cannot find an attorney willing to fight. I am told since I signed the agreement, “What it is, Is what it is”. This June We will be returning to court for the contempt to court I had filed last year for the ex leaving to Ok. and not agreeing to the phone calls. Last court date the judge dropped the contempt for leaving to Ok. and decreased my time to talk to my son on the Phone to 3 times a week. I need guidence to find an attorney to fight my issues and custody battle for my son to be with his big family that he has been with.

Comment from robin
Time: May 28, 2008, 12:16 pm

Do Grandparents have any rights in CA? My 4 mo old grandaughter has been with me for the last 4 days as she lives with her other grandmother and mother and aunt. The whole house is on pain pills and the grandmother stole the mothers car and traded it for drugs the other day and since the mother asked me to keep her daughter while she figures out what shes gonna do. I dont want this baby going back there. The GM is on a 72 hr hold in the hospital. Is there any way I can get temp custody of our GD and ask for frequent drug tests to be taken of the mother, father and GM? Im confused about what to do here and dont want her to end up in foster care.

Comment from papa
Time: June 1, 2008, 9:41 am

Hi Robin, yes grandparents do have rights that vary a bit from state to state. I’m actually reading a big book about grandparents rights … You can file a lawsuit and take this issue to court. You’re going to want to argue that YOU ARE THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD.

Comment from Lawana
Time: June 1, 2008, 10:46 pm

My son is currently stationed in HI. He has been married for 3 yrs. There is a 20 month baby involved although there are questions as to who the father is. She told her mother that our son is NOT the father. My son returned from Iraq 10/07 and she was 3 months pregnant by another guy. She had an abortion 11/07. My son wanted to work it out anyways. His wife convinced him to re enlist and on friday he recieved a $36,000.00 bonus which she promptly wired to her mother’s account. Now she wants him to move into the barracks, prevent him from seeing Aiden, Is refusing a paternity test and since CA is our sons home state, there’s a 2 yr limitation on paternity. She is also planning on moving to San Diego, CA even though his re enlistment station will be Cherry Point, NC. She has wiped his account out and now he has no money. I know she can’t leave for at least a month because she was arrested last week and is awaiting a court hearing. She told my son it was for unpaid traffic tickets but…I think it was something worse. Anyways, I could really use some advise. He keeps asking for advise and I have no clue where he should start.

Comment from papa
Time: June 2, 2008, 1:01 am

Lawana, I don’t know what advice to give you. What is your son’s objective? What does he want to happen?

Comment from Gena
Time: June 9, 2008, 10:42 pm

HI, i recently found out my husband of 61/2 years has been having an affair with our neighbor across the street. The problem is that we have to daughters ages 3 & 5. I retained a lawyer and went in as a ex-parte to get temp. custody of them as he threatened to take them to texas where he is from. I live in California. My orders were denied pending a hearing! He used to be a huge part of their life and has not seen them in 19 days he is currently co-exisiting with the skank neighbor and is harassing me from her phone!!! My 5 yr old daughter said to me last nite “i feel like i want to kill myself because daddy doesnt love me” OMG! i could kill him for what he is putting us through!

Comment from papa
Time: June 9, 2008, 10:44 pm

Gena, sorry to hear of your situation.

At your hearing the details of custody, child support, visitation etc. will all be established by a Judge…. good luck….

papa d

Comment from MAJ David Burke
Time: October 24, 2008, 5:18 am

I was divorced in 1996 - my child support obligation was ordered for $ 1158 per month until each child reached the age of 18 or emancipation. I didn’t request a modification after the first two graduated from high school but now that my third child turns 18 in Feb 09 and graduates from High School in June I want to terminate my child support obligation. My ex-wife claims we have a “verbal” agreement that I will pay CS until the kids graduate from college even though I set up a trust fund from my inheritance to pay my share of the kids college expenses after my mother died in 1998. I never verbally agreed to any such arrangement and have emailed my ex-wife stating that no such agreement exists. How to I legally set the motion in order now to terminate the CS order when my son graduates from HS in Monterey, CA in June 2009? He is in the top 1/3 of his class and I have a letter from the School Counselor stating his abticpated graduation date.
Thanks for your time.
David Burke
Eskan Village, Saudi Arabia

Comment from papa
Time: October 24, 2008, 11:13 am

Maj. Burke, Sphinx Legal publishers bullied me into taking down the state-by-state child support law that I had posted on here even though it was from their out-of-print book that I can’t get a copy of… as a result, I cannot answer the question of a dad serving in the military.

Congratulations Sphinx Legal Publishers! Great work you’re doing! But, from my knowledge, you’re going to have to file a motion to terminate the child support.

The best advice I can offer you is to use the question box at the top of the page. That will let you directly ask a lawyer a question, and, it’s not very expensive either.

Good luck to you.
PD