Dad’s Duties
As indicated in the basic list of father’s rights, with those rights also come responsibilities.
- As a father, you have the responsibility to provide support for your child or children. At bare minimum, to stay out of the legal system, this would mean consistently paying your court-ordered child support.
- It is your responsibility to be a provider of clothing, food, and shelter for your child.
- It is your responsibility as a father to provide your child with medical treatment and schooling.
- As a father, you are also obligated to protect your child from neglect and harm.
And, of course, your children have rights.
Comments
Comment from VINCE SPENCER
Time: March 11, 2008, 3:53 pm
I am currently paying my ex $750.00 a month for two boys. I also pay her $2000 a month alimony. Furthermore, I am almost paying off her house.
I work two jobs to do this, one being an aircraft mechanic at night. She recently brought our youngest son to the orthodontist and he needs braces. I was not required to take dental but did. Am I “required” to pay for the braces? Of course I will but I want her to pay the deductable since this is an elected procedure.
Comment from papa
Time: March 11, 2008, 6:25 pm
Hey Vince, thanks for finding us. I don’t know the answer to your question; but, I can point you in the right direction.
Good luck!
Comment from Bernicia
Time: March 17, 2008, 11:03 am
my child fathers does not know that he should be the one paying for the childs needs. I pay for school, shelter, clothing and pampers and everything else that comes with it. He only gives my 10 months old son milk and water and I have to ask for these things. Some man are just a waste of time as I see it.
Comment from Bernicia
Time: March 17, 2008, 1:14 pm
some men are just assholes
Comment from papa
Time: March 17, 2008, 11:57 pm
Hi Bernicia, you have a way of getting right to the point without wasting any words. : )
Some feel that this site is sort of gender-polarizing… and, that was never my intention. I wanted to document my struggle to be a dad … and, that covers a lot of material
But, your point is always valid. There are good men and bad men… just as there are good women and bad women… and, there are a whole lot of people who are maybe somewhere in between….
Thank you for stopping by!
Comment from mardy
Time: March 27, 2008, 1:37 am
my boyfriend’s ex has legal custody of their 2 children. She left the oldest with her parents and the youngest with her friend for two years while she was living in another state. my boyfriend lived in the same city as the kids and so never fought for custofy since he sees the kids all the time. now the mother “kidnapped” the daughter out of our home and took her to Missouri. No warning, just took her with the clothes on her back. Is there any emergency clause saying that she has to be brought back to SD until we get to court?
Comment from papa
Time: March 27, 2008, 12:21 pm
Yes Mardy…. since your boyfriend had such a close relationship with the kids etc., you could definitely make a “best interest of the child” argument among a lot of other stuff..
take a look at this post:
http://www.princedaddy.com/2008/03/01/found-the-coolest-forum-for-dads/
Comment from Jeff
Time: March 31, 2008, 8:47 pm
What age does children have the right to say no to visitation?
Comment from anna
Time: May 20, 2008, 12:16 am
My brother and his wife sperated she moved to another state what rights dose my brother have as far as visitation go’s in the state of Texas?
Comment from Noah
Time: May 25, 2008, 1:46 pm
Hello!I really appreciate starting this site. Its good to know that i have support. I recently found out that i am going to be a father(Awsome)>
I cant to be a father, one catch im not married to the motehr. I Have no problem with helping raise the child. I just need to know what i can do to protect myself so that if the mother and i dont live together and she doesnt want to have dual custody. Can i take her to court to get full custody so that she cannot keep me away from my child. And if so what can i do do jsut be safe.
Comment from papa
Time: May 25, 2008, 11:24 pm
Noah, thanks for the kind words! If you want to get custody and ensure your rights, you are doing the right thing in researching… you really can’t research too much Noah….. it’s not necessary to be married in order to have rights to see your child and have a relationship…. sometimes, though, it is necessary to fight for it….
papa d
Comment from B
Time: May 25, 2008, 11:35 pm
I am currently dating a guy who is technically still married… even tho his wife left him 3 yrs ago (and took her daughter than he raised since she was like 4 months old and is now 13 and their 2 children that they have together) and moved about 2 1/2 hrs away in to another state. She did tell him that she was coming back about a yr ago, but she only did that long enough to get a new vehicle and then it was back to the same ole’ crap from her. He is still paying for that vehicle & the insurance on it while she is driving it. She has been dating a guy since she left & they actually have a son together. This guy is a total loser and has had alcohol & drug issues. The children hate living there w/ him & always cry to stay here when they visit. They are 5 & 8. I know what ur gonna say….. why isn’t he divorced yet? Well, to be quite honest w/ u… He’s scared… She tried accusing his father of molesting their 5 yr old last yr right after she took off again. That was never proven or even really looked into cause, well, he didn’t do it and she knew that. But he is afraid she will bring it back up once they start their divorce & if he doesn’t agree to everything she wants, plus some other issues. What is ur advice on this????????????????????????????
Comment from papa
Time: May 26, 2008, 10:24 pm
Hi B, thank you for stopping by!
You ask me for advice… in order to give you any advice I need to know what level of contact your dude currently has with his kids… then, I need to know what level of contact he wants …….. if you are looking for custody, you may have something to sink your teeth into. ….. maybe….. family court tends to be rather lame, and, men tend to get screwed there…… but, you may have a “best interest” argument based upon what level of contact the loser drug addict dude has with his kids…..
papa
Comment from Michelle
Time: June 2, 2008, 4:12 pm
Okay…
My step-daughter’s Mother went on vacation late last month (April 2008) and my step-daughter stayed with us for 10 days. My Husband told me to adjust his ex-wifes child support check to reflect the time that my step-daughter was here.
I used the basic formula (amt per month x 12 / 52) to find the weekly obligation and then deducted that amount from the monthly support for May 2008 (not for the whole 10 days, just for the normal week) along with a statement letter showing what the deduction was for. We thought this was fair as we had to drive her to and from school every day to the next town and take her too and from sports practices, and miss time from work to do so while his ex was in mexico.
Now my husband’s ex wife is threatening court and all the stuff that comes with it while being uncooperative, berating, and incinuating that because he didn’t pay the full amount that his daughter wanted to commit suicide. (Just giving you the gist of what we are dealing with).
He is as active in his daughter’s life as he can be (7 day a week truck driver) and makes a point to see her as much as possible. He is a wonderful father and makes sure his daughter knows that he loves her.
So, do we cut the ex a check and make up the difference or does he have a right to reduce the amount for the time she was here? They have a ‘No-modification’ divorce decree WA state support order, he owes no back support, and the order is not support enforced.
What should we/he do?
Comment from papa
Time: June 2, 2008, 8:03 pm
From all of my reading and my previous conversations with my attorney, your husband made an error in reducing the child support amount. Yes, I would send her a check by certified mail and make up the difference. If it were me, I’d get the check in the mail tomorrow morning.
Child support amounts are set by a Judge. It’s not our right to adjust the amount to what we think is fair. Unless it specifically states in an order that child support is adjusted during extended periods, then, the order stays in effect.
I am not an attorney Michelle. I’m just a guy that’s lived this shit and learned a lot the hard way. If you want to consult an attorney for cheap on this topic, use the question box at the very top of this page.
Good luck and stay strong!
papa d
Comment from DeBo
Time: June 10, 2008, 12:35 am
My husband’s ex (not ex-wife, just ex) for 12 years has usurped visitation time and holidays, as much as she can, as it benefits her. Our daughter’s going into 7th grade now at the end of August. She got out of school on June 6th but her mother is calling the first three weeks “off track visitation time” and therefore has split up the summer into three months, which she has chosen, which we think is bull because she’s not off-track, she’s out of school for the summer. She has always chosen her “summer vacation” with my step-daughter even though Utah Code says my husband (non-custodial parent) should get “up to 4 weeks, at the descretion of the non-custodial parent”. We are finally fighting back now since code was just updated and we’re tired of her dictating how it’s going to be. Everytime she has an issue, it’s with me. I’ve never done anything to her but love our daughter. (I think she still likes my husband, after 12 years, and is mad that she didn’t get him, even though she has been married to her current husb longer than me and my husband, and has more children with her husb. Oh well!) She is a horrible person. She is hateful and her anger is always directed at me. I’ve done this wrong, I’ve said something to our daughter that I shouldn’t. . . blah blah blah, It’s always me that’s wrong, and she knows everything and is always right. For years when I would call our daughter just to see how she was and chat, she would tell our daughter after less than 7 minutes that she had to get off the phone because she needed it, however my husband can call and talk to her as long as she wants and she doesn’t have to get off the phone. It’s always directed at me. She just hates me and no one knows why. About a year ago she blocked my email address from my step-daughter’s email so that I can’t talk to her in email or on messenger, etc. Within the past few weeks she blocked my husbands email address from her (the mother’s) email so that we (my husband and I) can’t send her emails, we prefer to get everything in writing from her so that we have proof of everything. We sent her a letter explaining the code to her and the summer vacation we were taking, our right as non-custodial parents, and she returned it to sender without opening it or anything. She is childish, selfish, malicious, and I can go on. Can I take her to court for harassing me, because she does that in every single email or letter I’ve ever received from her. She belittles me at every single chance she gets. My husband and her do not get along. My husband has honestly tried over the past 12 years to get along and just try to keep the peace, but is tired of always getting screwed in some way or another. She took her on vacation for a week, didn’t coordinate how or when he was going to make up visition with our daughter, he was just out of luck, because that’s the way she is. If it benefits her, then it’s ok, but if it doesn’t then no way in hell is she going to agree! Our daughter and I get along really well, but I know her mother is yacking in her ear every chance she gets and telling her crap, like the reason she can’t receive my emails anymore is because I send her too many emails, that’s just crap. Anyone else out there dealing with a PSYCHO MOTHER like my husband and I are? Any thoughts or suggestions?
Comment from Manny
Time: June 10, 2008, 11:00 pm
What would you suggest for reasonable weekend visitations for a new father who lives in another country, but will be spending the summer in the country in which his 5 month old baby boy resides…he will be living about 2 hours away from the baby’s home? The baby’s parents were together for the first 4 months of the baby’s life, during which time the father was never interested in caring for the baby, was never alone with him, ignored him often and never bonded with him. Now that he and his wife are separated, he wants to be involved in the baby’s life and would like to take the baby for full day visitations all by himself. He plans to bring the baby to his hotel room during the visitations. Are there special considerations that would help guide the father in his request for visitaions seeing that the child is so young. Thanks for your help.
Comment from papa
Time: June 11, 2008, 7:07 pm
Manny, you never know what’s going to happen when you bring an issue to family court. That having been said…based upon my own experience, the Judge may order that the mother be present for a certain number of visits before the father has the child by himself…particularly as the child is so young. As long as the dad doesn’t have any serious problems, a Judge will want for him to be able to spend some time with his child. I think it’s likely that this will start off in very small amounts of probably a few hours…but, I have no way of knowing what will happen in court.
good luck
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